Ya know looking at that title, I think that one day it may make a good lyric. Well, maybe not a lyric, but a half decent epitaph, or a variation of that at least: The Game Was Tied, But Then, So Were His Hands.
Anyway, as I sit down to microwaved hotdogs and a very stiff drink, I give myself time to reflect on what a long, strange trip it's been.
And where have I found myself? Comfortable? Content? Of reasonable mind? Perhaps, but does any of that really amount to a hill of beans in the greater scheme of things? Who the hell knows, but I have decided to have as much fun in this time, that I'm probably just imagining anyway, before I have none left.
Have I found myself happy? Well happier than I've been in years to be sure, but just as scared, lost, confused, and entertained as ever.
Does this grant me wisdom? Does it matter? I'm still here to ask these questions. I would assume that this place, if any, would be good for a start. Then again, I'm a traveller without a map and wouldn't know the start even if I were at it, would I?
Probably not, but as it's been said before: Buy the ticket, take the ride. So be it then, don't bother holding onto the bar in front of you, it's just for show, and pray that you learn to fly before the whole damn thing flys off of the rails, crashing to the ground with you thinking that you werestrapped in to begin with. Scary, eh? Well get used to it bubba, cuz the fun ain't over yet. Not by a damn site.
Not that I'm complaining you understand, I'm just trying to make sense out of this mess of a life I've created for myself. Yes, that's right, I take full blame for the position I'm in. In the end, regardless of advice or teachings, I make the final desicion. Not a very comforting thought some days, but as all seem to do, these days too will pass.
Where to, I sometimes wonder. Does the time and thought of yesterday decide to leave? Float around in the colective unconscience? Turn itself into plant food? Do it matter where it goes?
Wow, it looks like I really need some answers before I continue. Answers or some peace of mind at least, wouldn't you say? You being, of course, person(s) I imagine taking the time to actually read this drivell.
On the up side of things, Ihave a new job, a new girlfriend, and a new guitar. So in the outward areas of my life, things have the appearance of normalacy. And to a certain degree, I would have to admit that things are. And honestly, that creeps me out a little. And I think that fear can sometimes be a great motivator, it doesn't always push you in the right direction, but there's no denying it's push. Oh let the good times roll. That's all for tonite I think,
fishbait
