Never Again II

That's the name of a yaght? yaught? yauht? a boat that I saw in the harbour here in Nanaimo when my family came to visit two months ago. I think it's a pretty good philosophy? philosofy? no, the first spelling was closer if not right.

For those of you that don't know, I was let go from my various positions with the Cambie/Malones Group about three weeks ago.

After being assured that my $20 hockey bet w/ the general manager was still on, that I would be recieving a severence and that the standard practice of a 90 day ban for dismissees had been reduced to 30, I settled in for a relaxing week of drowing my feelings in copious amounts of alcohol, and far too many hours on the couch watching CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. (Which, incidently, I was able to view almost 24 hrs a day). But, as always, the fun/denial must eventually come to an end, and so I find myself less cocksure and currently employed through the Downtown Entertainment Group.

Of course, the first step was admiting that there was a problem. Unfortunatly, I wasn't prepared to admit that the problem may be my own.

I may not have a grasp on what that particular problem presents itself to me as, but rest assured, it's quite aware of itself. But, as all things, this too shall pass.

I find it quite ironic, if I may be so bold as to use that word, that the fact that I held four positions was inevitably my down fall. Not so ironic, but perhaps more scathing, is the fact that my 30 day ban was what ruined my frame of mind; I had tried during my time at the Cambie to try and acctually know, not just aquaint myself w/ the regular customers, and in doing so, I made the Cambie and it's regulars, my entire social circle.

Losing the job didn't hurt because of the job, it hurt because the relationships I was trying to cultivate are now on hold.

These, among many other reasons are why I now find myself more than a little confused.

That aside, I find myself exausted but unable to sleep this morning. I thought a cigarette may help unfrazzle what nerves I have left, but, like the snow that's falling today, that recourse quickly turned to slop, and was sucked down by the terrra. Alright, so that's not entirely true, the snow hasn't evaporated or sunk into anything really, it just snows slush out here. The cab companies are at least an hour behind schedule and the roads have turned to a brilliant black ice that no driver in their right, or any other, mind, would dare attempt.

It's not cold by Calgary standards, but it sure as shit ain't all that cheary either. I'm not as sure, assuming I was ever, that the Island is a conquerable situation. I'm not really comfortable here and, though I loathe to admit it, I miss Calgary a lot. What I'd give for a coffee at Weed's right now and a pint of Trad at the Ship & Anchor in a few hours. It may be time to start looking for a job back in my good ol' home town.

Anyway the tone of this entry isn't all that inspiring, so I'm gonna sign off now, try my damndest to take a nap and do some laundry before my date. What? Didn't mention the date? Oh well, I guess things out here arent' all that bad.

fishbait.